From personal experience in the past few days there is 4 types of vomiting kids. I have one of each if you want to know how my past week is going. First hand experience in watching a house full of kids go down with the gastro bug inspired today’s post. It’s shitty 😉
The Shocked One. They have either never experienced vomit or have pushed it to the back of their memories so each time is a shock. Their eyes open wide and they sit in the same spot trying to figure out what is happening. They do nothing at all to try and prevent a mess from happening. After they are done they will most likely freak out. You will freak out. Everyone will be looking back trying to figure out how they missed the signs of impending doom.
The Panicker. This is the kid that panics the moment the stomach contents start moving up instead of down. Even if they are in front of the toilet or holding a puke bucket they will forget about it and get up in an effort to ‘freak the fuck out’. They will yell for help as the yesterday’s dinner spews on every wall, floor, and piece of furniture. They will continue to move around so that they cause the most destruction and you better cross your fingers that they don’t stand at the top of the stairs and rain down stomach contents everywhere. Cleaning up vomit that goes higher than you is no fun. Also, there will be no vomit in the toilet or puke bucket. It will be the only place they missed.
The Projectile Vomiter. This is the one that will be okay one moment and be marking the wall 2 feet away the next. If they are sleeping the vomit will go up and then rain down its contents from corner to corner. You will be both shocked and amazed by the power and distance of this kids vomit.
Bulls Eye. This is the kids that always gets every drop in either the toilet or puke bowl. No matter how violent the episode of sickness is they will continue to make it a hole in one. Clean up is a breeze and you dub this child your favourite puker. You decide to write a blog post about puking because this child gives you hope and you want to share it with other parents. You promise this kid their favourite snack and a unicorn for being so amazing.
Did I miss any types of vomiting kids?