How To Break Disempowering Traditions at Your Wedding

Marriage has changed so much since its purely practical, financial beginnings. Though transactional nuptials are by no means a thing of the past, most couples in the US today marry for love. Despite this, many of the traditions that are embedded in wedding culture are remnants of a more transactional, patriarchal ceremony. Therefore, it makes sense that you would not want to honor those customs on your big day.

We’re here to cheer you on and offer some practical advice. We’ll suggest some modern alternatives to dated traditions. So without further ado, here’s how to break disempowering traditions at your wedding!

Embrace Symbolism That Respects Equality

Modern couples are finding ways to make traditions more meaningful. Walking down the aisle together, for instance, instead of with a father figure, symbolizes equality and shared commitment.

Likewise, rather than a father-daughter dance, consider a parent-child or family dance. Or skip dancing altogether and focus on other moments you’ll cherish even more.

Another idea is to choose your wedding party based on your closest relationships, not gender.

And we recommend skipping awkward rituals like the bouquet and garter toss, even if you’re okay with the outdated ideals they represent. Replace them with an anniversary dance celebrating long-married couples—or move past them entirely.

Redefine Name Expectations

You shouldn’t feel obligated to lose your last name. You can keep yours or, as many women choose to do, hyphenate your last name with your partner’s.

If you plan to have kids in the marriage, then many couples will tell you that having the same last name can be helpful in reinforcing the concept of a single family unit. But it’s not necessary, and there’s also no rule that says your partner can’t take your last name!

Choose Attire That Reflects You

When shopping for wedding outfits, focus on styles that make you feel confident and authentic rather than conforming to antiquated expectations. Basically, you don’t have to wear white! You don’t even have to wear a dress. Fortunately, today’s wedding market is very inclusive. It’s easier than ever to find just what you’re looking for, whether that’s shopping for a plus-size wedding gown or finding designs in bright, bold colors.

Get Creative With Gift Registries

Registries were born of a need to support young couples with limited funds moving into their first place together. But many couples nowadays already live with each other before they get married, or they were independent for so long beforehand that they already have everything they need. Instead of a registry, you might request experiences or donations to causes you care about instead of household items. Some guests will also appreciate this, as they might otherwise view your invitation as a grab for one more registry gift.

Build Your Dream Wedding on Your Terms

Traditions are meant to serve people—not the other way around. Breaking free from disempowering customs at your wedding allows you to create an authentic, joyful, and uniquely meaningful ceremony. Start planning your celebration today, and make it a day your future selves will be proud of!