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Mom Carries the Weight of the World

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I remember the day as if it was yesterday. Pregnant with my first child, I was in the local H & R Block doing taxes with my hubby. At that point we were not married, our relationship was quasi-new and most importantly we had no kids. 

As we were sitting there waiting for our turn to come up in came a couple with a double stroller full of babies with another kid a tad bit older. There was nothing that stood out about the kids they had that day. What did stick out was the parents.

It is important to remember that I was preggo with my first kid and an admitted Judgy-McJudgerson at that point. So I spent some time looking at them. The guy in this relationship was fairly good looking, enough to warrant a second (or third) glance. He was a stark difference to his female counterpart.

She was for the purpose of this post a “mess”. Her hair was frazzled and thrown up into a “mom bun”. She was on the heavy side (obviously after 3 kids) and just looked as if she was not taking care of herself at all. I recognize the look now but then I was almost disgusted. “How could she let herself go like that?”

She carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. She carried her family’s well-being on her shoulders.

I didn’t fully understand this until a few days ago when I mentioned to my husband that we had to pay down our credit cards as our mortgage was coming up for renewal in 18 months. 18 months and I’m already thinking of it now. My husband mentioned to me “you’re always thinking ahead for us”. It clicked for me.

I am that frazzled mom, I am a mess, I own that. I now know that “that” mom was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, she was carrying her family.

As mothers we are constantly worrying, worrying about our kids, our relationships, our house, the bills. It never seems to end and it takes its toll on us. I am already worrying about getting the kids school uniforms. Starting to put away for the Christmas holidays so that the kids have amazing gifts. Thinking about how much more hydro will cost in the winter months. Thinking, worrying, thinking–on repeat.

And I am tired. My hair is in the “mom bun” because 30 minutes spent straightening it so it looks presentable only to have little hands covered in peanut butter and jelly touch it and let me know its so pretty is not a good use of my time. I spent 153 weeks gaining weight so that I could have these little people around my. I will wear those maternity pants even though I am no longer pregnant because they fit and hold everything “together”. Because the kids always need new shoes, clothes, jackets and toys and I would much rather wear that stretched and faded shirt for another season if it means that they can get what they need.

I am that frazzled mom, I am a mess, I own that. I now know that “that” mom was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, she was carrying her family.

 




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Aneta Alaei
Aneta Alaei

Aneta is a Toronto-based mom of four that loves a good meal, great company, and learning something new. In her free time, you can find her trying to keep yet another plant alive.

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16 Comments

  1. Michelle Bastien
    July 11, 2016 / 4:40 pm

    AMEN, I could have written this myself. We Mama’s take a lot on and then beat ourselves up for letting ourselves go.

  2. Stefanie
    July 11, 2016 / 6:21 pm

    I am often that mom, too. The worry never ends and I’m always thinking so far ahead. Thanks for keeping it real! XOXO

  3. Kelsi
    July 11, 2016 / 6:38 pm

    This is a great insight into what it really means to be a mom. Thank you for sharing!

  4. Gina Valley
    July 15, 2016 / 12:35 am

    Very well put, Aneta!

  5. Sarah De Diego
    July 19, 2016 / 7:45 am

    You’re in great company and a fabulous Mom no matter what pants (or not!) you’re wearing.

    Besos Sarah.

  6. Treen Goodwin
    July 26, 2016 / 12:44 pm

    how true , great story thanks for sharing ,

  7. Anne Taylor
    August 9, 2016 / 2:34 pm

    Gave you a vote and yes indeedy we moms do carry the weight of the world on our shoulders don’t we. My daughters are learning that now with their own children.

  8. loriag
    August 11, 2016 / 8:17 am

    It is a good thing things come in seasons.

  9. BobbiJo pentney
    August 11, 2016 / 11:55 pm

    I am glad it is not just me.

  10. DARLENE W
    August 12, 2016 / 5:12 am

    Thank you for telling it as it is, as women we hardly ever talk about this

  11. Jamie hall
    August 14, 2016 / 3:08 pm

    I can totally relate I have only one child and a full time job outside the home , I appreciate real articles like this that are honest and raw.

  12. Aneta Alaei
    Author
    August 14, 2016 / 3:48 pm

    It’s so hard just being a mom some days. Best pay off but still a constant struggle

  13. Julie
    August 15, 2016 / 9:10 am

    I am that Mom too, doing my best, just like everyone else. But hey, my husband loves my crazy messy hair and frazzled self s whatever!

  14. kathy downey
    August 20, 2016 / 4:02 pm

    We certainly do carry the weight of the World on our shoulders, you wrote it so well.

  15. Victoria Ess
    August 23, 2016 / 9:04 am

    A great post and great reminder of what parents do for their kids.

  16. Debbie White-Beattie
    October 20, 2018 / 3:09 am

    I can honestly say I don’t know how my mother did it all as a single mother of 2 back in the 70’s when women didn’t get extra help for anything and yet she went to school full time and cleaned houses on the weekend for a little extra money.
    I don’t know how she did it and without us kids feeling like we were missing anything. She did it all and she never let us know how hard she it was for her.
    Wonder Women !